Stop Blaming Others and Accept Responsibility For Your Life
I don’t know one person, including myself, who isn’t guilty of playing the blame game. It’s one of those things that we learn as little children. You spilled mom’s soda all over the new carpet, so what do you do? The easiest way out is a big fat lie that places the blame elsewhere, “I didn’t do it. She did it.” Unfortunately, this tendency toward blaming goes on long after the days of recess, mud pies, and bedtime stories.
Of the many lessons that I’ve learned in my 32 years on this Earth, the biggest one came at the hardest time in my life. After a bout of major depression, familial illness, a major career diversion, and a bad relationship that ended in chaos and financial ruin, it was as if a light bulb came on. I realized that I had to finally take my life 100% into my own hands. Sure, I had plenty of people to blame for my predicament. But where would that get me? The answer—nowhere at all.
I’m here to tell you that the only way to achieve success in your life is to do it. Blaming others for your misfortune is nothing but a waste of time. There may be some tiny bit of relief in saying that it’s all someone else’s fault. It may even feel good to rally others around to support you in a big fat pity party, but where are you after the pity party? You’re in the same place you were in before.
Unconscious v.s. Conscious Living
Many people have trouble accepting full responsibility for their life. The idea that every human creates their own reality angers those who prefer the comfort of the blame game. After all, personal accountability means accepting that the only person left to blame is the person who has been doing the blaming. That sucks, right? No, it doesn’t if you’re willing to look at the positive side of this equation.
Learning that you’re able to create your life on purpose (conscious creation) should be empowering rather than scary. The scary part is the fact that you were once creating unconsciously. You probably spent your entire life just letting your thoughts roam all over the place, having no idea of what you were doing.
I, for one, spent far too many years engaging in thoughts that create undesirable results. I complained about politics, people, work, life, my hair, my weight, my childhood, the weather. I gossiped, made fun of people, and attended weekly hell- and-damnation sermons in church. I gobbled up negative media, pessimistic conversations, and opportunities for argumentative debate as if they were my favorite desserts. This is how many people spend a great portion of their life, yet negative outcomes rouse shock within us.
The Power of Deliberate Creation
It is my belief that our every thought is creative and our life experiences are a direct reflection of the nature of our thoughts. If our dominant thoughts, beliefs, and expectations are drowning in pessimism, we can expect circumstances in our lives to match that negative thought vibration. However, the wonderful part of this is that we can choose to experience something far greater. Through positive thinking, beliefs, and intentions, you can begin to consciously create a life of joy.
If others come along and do insanely cruel things to harm you, remember that you are stronger than any force that is against you. If a doctor gives you a bleak diagnosis, you can choose to believe something far better. If you had a horrible childhood, you can choose to stop creating current havoc through your negative attention to your parents’ mistakes.
Empowerment Through Accountability
You can accept full responsibility for everything in your life; therefore, accepting that you are completely empowered to change your experience. You can’t change what other’s do or say, but you can change their ability to impact you.
Holding yourself personally accountable for your life does not mean that you should stop blaming everyone else and start blaming yourself. This simply means that you should stop blaming at all. Blaming is a negative thought vibration that can only create more of what you do NOT want. Take responsibility. Love yourself. Take back your power. Forgive everyone. And watch as the real beauty of life unfolds before your eyes.
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Nea is a Transformational Life Coach whose mission is to help you love your life.
If you desire the “good life” and you want to know how Nea can help you attain it, contact her now.
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All I can say is Amen. I don’t everyone reaches this point of inspiration but when they do their life turns around completely. I know mine did and wish good luck to anyone here looking for that turn around. Stop lying to yourself, stop blaming others and take control.
Yeah but how to take responsibility without blaming yourself. That’s the real question in my case
. It’s really a thin line.
You make some great points here, maintaining personal accountability is extremely important when trying to improve yourself. You must be able to admit your mistakes and hold yourself accountable and be willing to improve your weaknesses.
Nice post. I think we are responsible for all our actions & its not good to blame others for the things we have done. You have raised some important points & i hope it will help others to understand their mistakes too.
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