A Lesson in Friendship: How to Recognize (and Become) a True Friend

Though it is completely intangible, friendship is one of life’s most valuable treasures.   It’s something that we all desire and it may even be something that we need.  Most people claim to give it and expect to receive it. But like all of the best things, true friendship can be hard to come by.

To find one true friend in life is a gift like no other. By making the distinction between the people with whom you associate and those who qualify as your true friend(s), you may seize the opportunity to foster one of the most important relationships you’ll ever experience.

If you’re wondering how to become a better friend or how to evaluate current associations, consider these surefire signs of real friendships:

• Listening

A friend is someone who listens intently without preparing a response.  Because your friend loves you enough to care about what you have to say, they will be there to listen even when others in the world might consider your point of view stupid, wrong, or otherwise undesirable.  With friendship, there is no need to filter your thoughts. A friend won’t always agree with you, but they will be your sounding board. 

• Loyalty and Dependability

Friends love without all of the conditions that often exist in other relationships.  We all make costly mistakes in life, but a true friend will remain in your corner during those rough times.

A real friendship will not change if you gamble away your money, gain 100 pounds, marry the wrong person, make parenting mistakes, or lose a great job.  That person is not in your life because of what you have or who you appear to be.

A true friend cherishes their relationship with you because they know your heart.  A person who loves you for the person that you are on the inside will be there when the whole world seems to be against you.

• Honesty and Sincerity

A true friend will always tell you the truth.  If you’re making a bad decision or walking around with a booger in your nose, you can count on a friend to speak up.  There is no reason to hide your thoughts or feelings from the person who is your true friend.  Friendship allows you the freedom to share information openly and honestly because you know it will be held in the strictest confidence.  Being a good friend means being completely trustworthy, for there is never room for deceit in friendship.   

• Respect and Acceptance

One of the luxuries of friendship is that you can be yourself.  Having similar interests helps you to bond with new associates, but a true friend will not require that you like the same things that they like.  Because your true friend respects you as an individual, the friendship will be sustained even if your political views, social interests, religious beliefs, marital status, or finances change over the years. Although a friend will give you their honest opinion, they won’t require you to agree with them.

• Boundaries

It isn’t always easy when friends begin spending less time together because one of them starts a family or begins spending more time with colleagues.  However, your true friend will respect your boundaries as you develop other relationships and associations. 

• Quality Time

Much like romantic relationships, friendships must be cultivated with quality time.  That doesn’t mean you need weekly date nights or daily phone conversations.  After all, quantity does not mean quality and vice versa.  Quality time with a friend includes communicating your dedication by giving advice when requested, quietly listening when needed, providing reassurance and support, and showing up in emergencies.

Even if you only talk to your true friend once a month, that time should be given the upmost importance.  Your work, spouse, children, pets, parents, and all other things and people must be temporarily set aside in order to effectively communicate with your true friend in whatever way works for both of you.  Any relationship worth having is worth nurturing.

• Deep Understanding

Friends take the time to know much more about each other than what is on the surface.  A friend seeks to have a deeper understanding of who you are as a person.  Any associate may come to know your birthday, your favorite foods, and the type of mate you desire.  But a true friend understands what you need when feeling down, what approach is best when presenting a new idea to you, what drives and motivates you, what body language you use when hiding your pain, and what values you hold most dear to your heart.

You have been blessed with an amazing gift if, after reading the friendship qualities above, you realize that you have a true friend in your life.  And your friends are equally lucky if you have these qualities.  If, on the other hand, you realize that you have fallen short of true friendship, use what you’ve read here as a guide to help you develop this solid bond.  Should you find yourself in a position where there is nobody around to befriend, at least be a true friend to yourself.

Wonderful Friendship Quotes

“A Friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I can never think of promoting my convenience at the expense of a friend’s interest and inclination.”
- George Washington

Too late we learn, a man must hold his friend unjudged, accepted, trusted to the end.”
- John Boyle O’Reilly

“Friendship that flows from the heart cannot be frozen by adversity, as the water that flows from the spring cannot congeal in winter.”
- James Fenimore Cooper

Tagged as: Friendship, Healthy relationship, Self improvement information