Understanding Low Self Esteem – How Do You Feel About You?

Self Improvement Information for  Self Esteem

What is self esteem?

In simplest terms, self esteem is the way that you feel about yourself.  If you have high self esteem, you think highly of yourself.  Those people who hold a negative self image, on the other hand, are said to suffer from low self esteem. Because the Universe responds to our thoughts, negative self beliefs often result in a variety of negative life experiences.

Recognizing low self esteem

Although you might expect a person with low self esteem to be easily recognizable, this is a huge misconception.  Having low self esteem does not necessarily mean that you walk around wearing a cloak of sorrow and telling everyone how horrible you feel.  In fact, many people with low self esteem hide behind arrogance and bragging.  On the surface, they may appear to feel great about themselves.  They may dress provocatively, date several people at once, talk incessantly about their accomplishments, and engage in almost anything that makes them the center of attention.  That is not exactly the behavior that you expect from people who don’t feel good about themselves; however, such actions are only a coping mechanism for the pain that they feel inside.  The attention drawn from others is like a Band-Aid for the deep wound of low self esteem.  It acts as a temporary cover-up to the ugly truth, but it doesn’t heal the injured spirit.

Instead of displaying attention seeking behavior, many people with low self esteem seek to completely avoid attention by isolating themselves or dressing in a way that makes them less noticeable.  They may make excuses to withdraw from engagements, avoid meeting new people, and hide behind oversized clothing.  In relationships, they often form unhealthy attachments or remain in unhappy situations because they feel unworthy (or incapable) of attracting a better mate.

Some people who are suffering from low self esteem engage in the shameful practice of demeaning others.  They may be so unhappy inside that they desire to see other people in a worse light than they see themselves.  For this reason they may constantly present negative opinions of others or say things to hurt a person’s feelings.  They may or may not believe the things being said, but the subconscious goal is simply to find relief from the way they feel about themselves by focusing that negative energy on someone else.

The same subconscious goal is accomplished in a more indirect fashion by others with low self esteem.  Because they feel uncomfortable in the company of people who they believe to have better looks, bigger bank accounts, more stylish clothes, slimmer bodies, fancier cars, great relationships, or more lucrative careers; they surrounded themselves with people who they perceive to be “less than” they rate themselves.  Do you know any women who only have friends that are 50 or more pounds heavier than they are?  Or maybe you know the B student who doesn’t hang out with the “really smart” crowd because “they’re too stuck up?”  This usually translates to, “I’m not okay enough with myself to be around someone who I think is better.”

Reasons for low self esteem

You may be wondering why you (and countless others) have low self esteem.  The answer usually lies so far in your past that you may not be aware of it.  Many people were given negative messages about themselves during childhood.  Were you teased for years because you were different from other kids?  Did your parents say things that led you to feel you weren’t good enough?  Did you endure abuse of any kind?  Maybe you drew negative conclusions from a lack of affection or emotional connection in your family? There is no shortage of circumstances that can lead to self esteem issues.  Children pick up on everything in their surroundings, including positive and negative views of themselves.  They often internalize the messages received from others, thus it begins to feel like their reality.  In other words, if the message you picked up as a child was “you’re worthless,” you may spend your adult life feeling that you are indeed worthless without realizing that the message was never true.  No matter what negative self image you have accepted up to this point, it does not have to be a life sentence.

Improving self esteem

All people are important in some way shape or form, so there is no reason to think that you are unworthy.  It is my belief that we are sent to this Earth as the empowered creators of our own reality.  Our every thought is creative, thus we are all contributing to the expansion of this great Universe.  This alone makes each person extremely valuable, so remember your importance to this Universe each time you want to beat up on yourself.

If you want to jumpstart the journey toward improving self esteem, click here for a few simple self improvement and self esteem exercises.

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