While reading a list of 50 tips from a fellow self improvement blogger, I found myself stuck on number one. Not because it was such an amazingly good or bad tip, but because it was so fundamentally different from everything that I believe. The tip: Be realistic.
If I could offer only one piece of advice on living the life of your dreams, it would be the complete opposite of this tip. The most powerful self improvement ideas that I can think of involve learning to be completely unrealistic.
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” -Napolean Hill
Being realistic means accepting things as they are, believing in what makes sense and subscribing to an existing reality. With the limitless possibilities in this great Universe….Why in the hell would I do that?
In my opinion, realism is a prescription for mediocrity. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I definitely wouldn’t say that it makes good self development advice.
“I am not my memories. I am my dreams.” -Terry Hostetler
Are you content with an average life filled with lack and unfulfilled dreams? Is your goal simply to be like everyone else? Do you prefer “what is” over “what could be?” If so, being realistic may be right for you. However, there is no shortage of amazing opportunities available to those who want something different. Limitations only exist in the mind. If you can believe in it, you can make it your reality.
“Live out of your imagination, not your history.” -Stephen R. Covey
Without the willingness to believe in what doesn’t make sense, where would we be? We would be riding horses instead of driving cars. We wouldn’t be able to pick up a device that lets us speak with people anywhere in the world. We wouldn’t be able to fly through the clouds on airplanes. We wouldn’t have light when the sun goes down. There would never be a life saved through a heart transplant. Rags to riches stories would only happen in fairy tales. All of these things are all the result of being impractical, idealistic, optimistic, imaginative, creative, ingenious… anything except realistic.
“There’s no reason to have a Plan B because it distracts from Plan A.”-Will Smith
Life changing success is not realistic. Greatness and excellence are not realistic. Unfathomable joy is not realistic. No, these are not the norm. They are not what most people are accustomed to. But they are possible. And they occur all the time for people who are willing to believe in that which makes no sense at all. So, do you really want to keep it real?
“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you’ll see the way to fly.” -Richard Bach
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my Nea! Girl, I am so in agreement with you. Who wants to live a life that is ordinary or mediocre. Uh-uh, not me. I want an extraordinary life. I’d love to share one of my favorite quotes from Abraham-Hicks, “Never face reality unless your reality is just the way you want it to be.”
To a life extraordinary!
Cheers!
Hi Nea. This is actually a quite difficult issue. On the one hand I totally agree with thinking big, losing your limiting thinking, and so on. On the other hand you can’t just believe you are going to flap your arms and fly. At some level you have to be realistic, but what exactly does that mean?
For me, if we can think big and at the same time lose our attachment to outcomes, we can find the right balance. I can both be happy with what I have, happy with whatever happens, and at the same time blow the lid off of my thinking. I’ll accept whatever happens, but I’m not resigned to what I have right now. I hope that makes sense.
Thanks for sharing your input Stephen. In the words of Will Smith, it’s not realistic to walk in a room, flip a switch, and get light. But it happens. Somebody thought it possible and now it is. I’m pretty sure we’ll be flapping wings and walking on water some day in the future. Unrealistic? Heck yes!!
Great post Nea. Your second last paragraph summed it up perfectly. If not for unrealistic expectations or dreams where indeed would we be today?
I’ve just recently come across the most brilliant, most powerful, most inspiring video on the internet…..find it here…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc
Watch this & tell me this great man settled for “realism”.
A life lived within the confines of being “realistic” is a life destined for mediocrity and a life bereft of the realization of dreams.
To me, that’s not a life, that’s merely an existence.
Or as another great man once said:
“That’s not a living, that is a dying”.
Life is reciprocal. Being realistic means accepting the reality of things but NOT necessarily adopting to it. We are more than we think we are and we are capable to defy the reality of things, only of course, if we choose to.
I completely agree with Stephen on the subject. I just wish I could achieve that way of thinking
. It’s also nice to follow your dreams, but only if your dreams are directed into a positive goal. If someone’s goal is to conquer the world, it’s hard for me to encourage him.
Thanks Walter, Cam, and Interier. I love the different ideas on this subject. I’d expect most readers to say, “be realisitc.” It makes sense. It’s only logical, right? I’m enjoying the comments immensely.
Wow Nea, well said. I started reading this article not knowing where it would lead me mentally….you had some great highlights here, wonderful article and great highlights. I am a strong believer in the law of attraction, I do believe your thoughts becoming your reality…with that being said, in my eyes, I am living in an unrealistic world only because I choose to =) I refuse to just accept things the way it really is.
I think the key is finding the balance Nea. Sure, one can achieve what his heart desire if he put efforts in it. But I also believe in barrier of entries. Imagine someone who does not have the gift for singing, to be determine on being a singer will only worsen things. Well, that’s just an example.
Hey Karlil. Your example is interesting. Did you know that they have now come up with a way to teach people to sing even if they don’t have the natural born talent. Someone had that idea & ran with the possibility of something that seemed impossible. And tada…. more proof that limitation is in the mind.
I think you have to have dreams or goals slightly out of reach but realistic. If you only set your goals on what is simple and easy you could not grow spiritually or intellectually.
To me life is always gradual steps. Each day we wake up and we are different, older, wiser then the day before.
As we change day by day so should our dreams and goals become closer for us.
I guess it makes a difference if they are long term goals or short term. If you are procrastinating or serious about accomplishing your dream so definitely keep it realistic.
Lots of nice points, Bunny. Thanks for sharing.
This post really got me thinking. I think there’s a very BIG difference between what is realistic and what we perceive as being realistic. Reality does not share our prejudices.
So, from this perspective, the trick is to not submit yourself to skewed views of what is realistic. This coming from an optimist-realist
Eduard
Hi Eduard. I like that… optimist-realist.
Thanks for sharing information .
That will help a lot .
Nea, this is actually a quite difficult issue. As far as i see, you are to maintain yourself in between the two extremes. One end is of being well confident to achieve your goals being positive and thinking big. And the other end is of getting over confident to the extent of getting yourself foolish and unrealistic. And one has to settle himself being realistic and highly motivated.
Very good thought and interesting perspectives.
The trick here is to realize that there is ‘a box’ but that you are not always confined to ‘the box’. For those, who master this concept it may be easy to ‘walk into a room with no light’ and dream of one day have a better method of acheiving it.
I will bookmark this and make it one of my morning stops; right after MSNBC.COM.
Always rememer to EARN the DAY!!
I like this article. I think this has helped people see things from different perspectives.
Also, trigger thoughts and emotions that are underneath the surface.
Thanks to everyone for providing their thoughts on this. Joy and happiness to all.
Its a very good article..I just kept on reading it and took me into world of realism.
I had a great time reading around your post as I read it extensively.I like all the quotes in your post.
Glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for taking the time to read it.
I’m not happy with where I am in life. My dreams are unreachable and unrealistic. What should I do?
Change your thoughts and change your life. The only resource you really need lies inside of you.
Yeah Neal! You are quite impressive at self improvement. you are real a person helping others with your deep observation and broad knowledge.
Thanks a ton. We all help the greater good if we can encourage at least one other person.
I recall a bumper sticker from long ago that I really enjoyed….
Reality Sucks
For just the reasons you described in this post.
It limits our availability to miracles and new awareness in each of our days.
Our concepts of “reality” can stop the flow of items on our list for our life dreams, if we stick with them.
So I am not a realist, some say. So what, I say….
If I wanted their reality, it would be different.
Since I do not, it works well for me.
and…..
Thanks for that Will Smith quote…. I like that!!! Quite a concept…. has me thinking…
Blessings
I love what you said here. And the best part was, “So what!” That’s my favorite saying when others seek to push their “realistic” point of view on me. I’m glad you enjoyed the article Victoria. It sounds like you’re on target for living out all of your dreams.