Comments on: 20 Argument Tactics to Avoid for Effective Communication: What NOT to Say

By: Kenray

Kenray — Wed, 12 May 2010 05:19:26 +0000

Clearly, you have never argued with someone who has ADHD. It’s like trying to convince a cat to get up and help around the house!

By: vince

vince — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 22:44:12 +0000

looks more of a play ground to me be happy

By: Passer-by

Passer-by — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 10:30:39 +0000

Pretty nice place you’ve got here. Thanks for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to them. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon.

Truly yours

By: NeaJ

NeaJ — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 02:01:21 +0000

Thanks Kamal. So glad to have you here.

By: NeaJ

NeaJ — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 02:00:57 +0000

Thanks so much Jack for sharing your input. I agree that it is honorable to care for each other’s feelings. But it is oh so empowering, and so relieving to others, when we first take ownership of own feelings. We can communicate how we feel in response to the actions or words of others without shirking responsibility. “I feel ________ when you _______” sends an entirely different message than “You make me feel ____________.” To further empower ourselves, we can look a little deeper to figure out why we feel ________ when _______ happens. And if the same person repeatedly does __________, why are we tolerating it? This keeps us focused on the only thing we can ever really change–SELF.

By: Jack

Jack — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 19:24:10 +0000

Good article Nea, just a couple of things I’d like to add. I agree with point seven to an extent – I work in sales and if someone hurts my feelings then I have failed, as I’ve let them. But outside of work I form close personal relationships by placing my trust in the other person. Without this that person would merely be an acquaintance, but by doing so I give them some power over my emotions. In the situation Danni describes I’d argue that the boyfriend must take responsibility for the effect his actions have on his girlfriend, as he’s clearly not treating her in the way that any reasonable person could expect to be treated by someone so close to them. I’d argue the only buck-passing taking place would be if the boyfriend tried to claim the girlfriend was responsible for her own feelings, and should not let his obvious lack of consideration affect her.

In a separate point, while pointing the finger and assigning blame is not often productive, in some cases the root of the problem must be found in order for it to be put right. There are any number of ways this can be done constructively, and the worst case scenario is that the problem recurs because someone makes the same mistake over and over again.

By: Kamal Thakur

Kamal Thakur — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:58:28 +0000

That was a wonderful compilation! Thanks a lot.

You have one more regular visitor. Keep up the good work.

By: Stranger

Stranger — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:14:54 +0000

Pretty nice blog you’ve got here. Thanks for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more soon.

Sincerely yours

By: Mash

Mash — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 07:13:08 +0000

Wow, I realized that I picked up so many mannerisms growing up that I haven’t been aware of, thank you!

By: happymaker

happymaker — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 22:35:42 +0000

Great list. Boy,I can see where I mess up on some of these. “It doesn’t matter and Your right.” I like to use these with my hubby and yes it gets me in trouble. He uses them on me too. Guess I better show him this list.

Thanks and be happy,
Debbie