How to Take Your Power Back and Kiss the Victim Mentality Goodbye

I’m on a roll with self empowerment, my friends.  I recently hit a little stumbling block, but I am in no way complaining.  I’m unbelievably elated because life’s little detour reminded me of my personal power, creativity and strength.  Funny how we forget some of our greatest qualities when we’re not faced with reasons to use them!

Well, since I’m emerging from a tough time and shining brighter than before the storm, I want to share with you my feelings about something that has often been the key to my success when dealing with life’s ups and downs—overcoming the victim mentality.

Replace Victimization with Self Empowerment

The realization of personal empowerment, in my opinion, is one of the most important elements of self improvement.  After all, it’s impossible to focus on improving yourself when your attention is on placing fault with others.

Before we can evolve and improve ourselves, we must first decide to no longer be the victim of anyone or anything.  Even if we’ve been victimized, we don’t have to remain victims.  We always have the power of choice.

We can choose to break free of the dependence upon having someone else to hold responsible for what goes wrong in our lives.  Yes, that can be scary at first. The little fear gremlin in you may wonder, “Who will I blame when things are screwed up?”  But consider the advantages and disadvantages here.  As the victim, you have someone to blame.  You can complain to everyone around you and get a hefty dose of sympathy. Woo hoo!

However, by choosing to remain a victim, you choose to be a slave.  Yes, that’s right. You make yourself a slave to whatever it is that victimizes you.  This is not a true elimination of your personal empowerment.  You are still empowered.  You are still free.  You simply traded in your birthright to self empowerment and freedom for a seat on the victimization train. That doesn’t seem like a smart trade off to me.

Lucky for you, that train ride ends when you tell it to.  You can reclaim what is rightfully yours at any time.  If some person, group, rule, or system hurts you, how long will you gripe about it?  How long will you remain stuck under the cloak of anger, blame and victimization?  Will you spend the rest of your life blaming your parents for your lack of child-rearing skills?  Will you keep blaming your ex-wife for your diminished financial status?  Will you always blame the education system for your perceived intellectual weaknesses?  Will your first boyfriend always be the responsible party for your trust issues?  Or will you decide to exercise your ability to change your life?  Will you bring the pity party to a close and present yourself to the world as the self empowered being that you are?

What about Those Who Screw Us Over?

I don’t mean to imply that others shouldn’t take responsibility for their actions. It is great IF they do.  However, each of us only has control over one person—self.  We can’t force others to behave in the way that best suits us.

We can’t force our parents to apologize for (let alone fix) the mistakes they made during our childhoods.  But we can make sure our children benefit from the lessons we learned from our parents’ mistakes.

We can’t make heartless lovers become considerate of our feelings.  But we can move on to a thoughtful partner who deserves our love.

We can’t make the government operate for the best interest of all people.  But we can do our best to help those who benefit from what we enjoy offering to the world.

We can’t make our colleagues have stronger work-ethic.  But we can set a strong example for them to learn from.

Controlling What’s Yours to Control

Do you get it now? Self empowerment is NOT about having power over anything or anyone outside of yourself.  External circumstances are, for the most part, out of our control.  But that is okay.  We don’t need to control circumstances in order to experience happiness and embrace our own empowerment.  We don’t need to wait for change from others…that gives them power over our lives.

The goal is simply to create the greatest possible joy while we’re here in these physical bodies.  And that can be achieved by asserting our personal power over our own lives.

Taking Your Power Back

No matter who or what has hurt you, and no matter how severely, you can free yourself from the victim’s prison. So, are you ready to take your power back now?  Well guess what.  It’s been here all along just waiting for you to stop stepping on it.  Reach out and grab hold of it.  Leave the victim mentality behind right now.

Stop being a mere observer as your life unfolds.  Embrace the power that you have to decide how you will be affected by the external circumstances of your life.

Instead of asking, “Why did this happen to me?” declare “This is how I will come out a winner this time.”  When knocked down, don’t lie there and fret over the scar on your leg.  Get up. And decide how you’ll stay up.

Use every circumstance, the good and the bad, for your benefit.  Use them to learn and to grow, to become a stronger and more courageous individual.

No person, job, system, group or circumstance is worth sacrificing your bliss to become a victim.

Two thumbs up for self empowerment!

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Tagged as: Empowerment, Motivation, Self improvement