Is there anyone out there who has tried breaking bad habits? Maybe I should rephrase that. Is there anyone out there who has NOT tried breaking bad habits? No need to answer—we’ve all been there.
We develop habits by practicing something over and over until it becomes a major part of our comfort zone. Many of these habits, like falling asleep at a set time each night or eating breakfast every morning, add to a positive life experience. But those aren’t the ones that concern us.
The problems arise when we have habits that hinder our personal growth and happiness. You know the usual suspects—smoking, swearing, drinking, nail-biting, overeating, gambling, shopping. These habits are often associated with poor health, financial lack, and social difficulties, yet they’re hard to give up. The price of enjoying the momentary feelings of comfort that come with the habit is usually a negative, regretful side-effect.
Obviously, breaking bad habits is necessary for self improvement success; but does it have to be such a big pain in the you-know-what? I don’t think so.
There may not be a magic wand that makes it easy to break a bad habit, but the tips below can help soften the blow.
“Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters” –Nathaniel Emmons
Prep Work for Breaking Bad Habits
Although action has a vital role in all self improvement ideas, positive outcomes seem to flow more effortlessly when there is a pre-action plan.
Rarely do people break bad habits instantaneously by waking up to say, “I’m done smoking now” or “I’m no longer a shopaholic.” There’s almost always a great deal of mental preparation and deep thought that paves the way.
Take pen to pad and answer the following questions (the more details—the better):
What is the bad habit I’m trying to break?
What triggers or drives me to engage in this bad habit?
What excuses have I used for not ending this bad habit before today?
Why do I want to break this habit?
How will my life be different once I break this bad habit?
“It’s not so much that we’re afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it’s that place in between that we fear…. It’s like being between trapezes. It’s Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There’s nothing to hold on to.” –Marilyn Ferguson
After pinpointing the habit and considering how it impacts your life, it’s time to look at the rough part of the journey ahead. Consider what you might experience during the first day, week, or month of trying to break your habits.
If you usually shop when there’s nothing to do, will you be bored to tears without your favorite pastime? If you eat when sad, will you feel more depressed without your comfort food? If you usually drink alcohol to cope with stress, will you experience overwhelming anxiety when faced with life’s problems? If you smoke or use recreational drugs, what might the withdrawal symptoms feel like?
Think through the inconveniences and ask yourself if it’s worth it. Are you trying to break a bad habit because someone else wants you to? Or are you truly at the point where you can honestly say, “I want to change my life and it’s worth every harsh moment that I may encounter along the way.”
“If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.” – John Maxwell
Assess Your Readiness for Breaking the Habit
To succeed in breaking bad habits, you must overcome moments of weakness. Just think of them as tests of your strength, courage and fortitude—and make sure you’re ready.
Weak moments are much easier to handle when you have a plan and a strong support system. It’s wonderful if that support system includes family or friends who help you stay on track, but you can also rely on meditation, religious rituals, journaling, counseling or exercising.
If your birthday celebration is coming up and you’re trying to kick the sugar habit, prepare for how you will deal with the tradition of birthday cake. Will you demand that cake isn’t on the menu, opting instead for a sugar-free, celebratory treat? Or will you enjoy yogurt as guests devour cake and ice cream in your presence?
If you’re a heavy drinker, how will you handle friends who drink heavily and/or places that serve alcohol? Will you avoid certain people and locations until you’re better prepared for resisting temptation? Will you sip sparkling grape juice as others indulge in your favorite wine? Maybe you’ll bring your AA sponsor along for support.
What helps one person to break a bad habit may not suffice for another. The important thing this is to be ready to handle moments of weakness in a way that works for you. Consider creating a list of ideas for dealing with situations and triggers before they sneak up and set you back.
“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson
Finally Breaking a Bad Habit
You can save yourself a lot of disappointment with the suggestions above, but don’t let preparation turn into procrastination. The time must come to just do it.
As you say goodbye to your old habits and embrace the joy of changing your life, you’ll experience moments when you’re sure you can do it and moments when you’re ready to give up. The first 5 days will be the toughest and the whole first month may feel like a roller coaster.
Since we’re most likely to turn to our old habits when the going gets tough, try to steer clear of any added stress during this time. Also, remember to utilize your support system and to look back at the list of why you’re breaking this bad habit.
Remind yourself of how your life will change and of the self improvement benefits that you’re destined to experience. Change isn’t easy, but it is absolutely possible. Now hold on tight and enjoy the ride to success.
“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have — and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.” –James Belasco
Related Self Improvement Blog Posts
How to Change Your Life and Become a Better Version of You
45 Ways to Live a More Joyful Life
Nea is a Transformational Life Coach whose mission is to help you love your life.
If you desire the “good life” and you want to know how Nea can help you attain it, contact her now.
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{ 18 comments }
Hello Nea,
Thank-you for this post, having stopped too many bad habits to mention in the past, I wish I had read this earlier!!
The only thing I am battling with at the moment is nail biting. I am a huge fan of writing things down – goals, accomlishments, etc etc etc so I’m not sure why I haven’t tried it with this. Sometimes it takes an objective view to show you the ‘obvious’. I’m going to take half an hour now and work through those questions.
I think my main problem with it is, most of the time, I don’t even realise I am doing it. I’ll be sitting doing some writing, reading or relaxing, and 10 minutes later realise I have chewed off another nail. Aaaagh!!! I think I also need to work on my self awareness in this area.
Many thanks,
Kate.
Wow Kate you came up with the magic answer…self awareness. My daughter just broke the nail biting habit as we were working through mindfulness exercises. BTW…. I hope you’ve given yourself a big pat on the back for breaking other habits. I’m sure you’ll be equally successful with your current goal. Love to you.
Hey Nea, these are all great suggestions. The one I think is the most important is this one “Why do I want to break this habit?” Sometimes we try to use guilt or just simple facts (realities) to motivate us, and this cannot work.
Say for example, you want to quit smoking. Knowing that it is bad for your health, it makes your hair and home smell, it is expensive, etc. These are all reasons to stop smoking. However, a person thinking like this is focusing on what they don’t want and what they don’t like. This type of focus cannot get us through.
If someone tries using these notions to quit smoking, they will utilize the same reasoning to start back up. They will begin to focus or remain focused on what they don’t want and what they don’t like. “I don’t like feeling this way.” I don’t want to start smoking again.” and on and on it goes. Just thinking that you don’t want to do something suggests that your intention is to do that very thing.
If we use the rational of guilt to stop we will use the same guilt rational to start again.
Thanks for your comment. You made such an interesting point here, Sandra. A negative focus just attracts one negative outcome after another. Its nearly impossible to progress from such a starting point.
“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have — and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.” –James Belasco
Excellent quote. Change is also hard because habits are automatic. We don’t have to think or exercise willpower; we just do them.
Cracking the habit nut is the key to change. This are very helpful tips.
You’re so right, habits don’t present a challenge to us. We just do it. It’s definitely much easier to perform a habit than it is to create a new habit. But oh the joy of getting over that hump.
Breaking a habit is quite hard.
Stopping procrastination to change is even harder.
I feel writing down what you are trying to do and sticking it up somewhere you can see it all through out the day helps.
I agree that having a visual of what you’re trying to do, placed somewhere that you can see it easily, is very helpful.
Habits can be so hard to break but take the time and look and see if you can notice and become aware of any habits. Then Break them ! This works for me. If it helps anyone else I am gladto sharesome knowledge. Thanks for a great post
Thanks so much for your comment Richard. I totally agree.
hey Nea ! Very inspiring post to read first thing in the morning ! I know one of my the habits I am trying to break is to have a million web browsers open at one time. I am trying to cut it down to one. It’s tough !
That’s a good one. You must be a lover of technology. If so, it’s hard to just use 1 web browser. But I’m sure you’ll cut down if it’s important for you. Thanks for your comment.
Great advice, I could always use a reminder about several of my bad habits. Its a constant battle that seemed a bit impossible years ago, lol … but after many years of introspection and small victories I think I am finally enjoying the fight since I may finally be winning. Even though I am far away from my long list goals.
Thanks for sharing Marc. It doesn’t matter the pace that we break our habits. In fact, I think life is all about the small victories. They certainly add up.
Hi Nea,
I enjoyed the article and loved the quotes. Talk soon, Simon.
Thank you Simon. I’m so glad you enjoyed the article.
Hi Nea, nice posts on breaking habits. I’ve have some bad habits and although I am currently trying to break them, your tips have given more more encouragement to do so especially the part where you said in this post, “I want to change my life and it’s worth every harsh moment that I may encounter along the way.” Thanks for the motivational post!
Nea: Thanks for this post on breaking habits. I think it is important to have a good approach and a way to stop doing things that we feel we should no longer be doing. Inevitably, there is going to be something we know we want to stop doing and so we need a reliable approach that we can apply consistently. I thought the tips you shared were really helpful. Thanks again for sharing them.
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