As I looked over my life, appreciating the person I am and the gifts that I have, something occurred to me. I don’t give full credit where credit is due. Yes, I give thanks for the pleasurable, comforting and rewarding experiences of my life. But I forget that I owe much of my thanks to something totally different—life’s struggles.
Within moments, I asked and answered one of my biggest life questions, “Why do we suffer?”
I am the person who I am today, not because I had a perfect childhood or the most supportive friends, but because that wasn’t always so. I am the person who I am today, not because I’ve always trusted the right people and made the right decisions, but because I sometimes screwed up.
Life’s Struggles Teach Life Lessons
Most of what I’ve come to appreciate about myself did not develop because life has always been good to me. It’s quite the opposite.
For me, as for everyone, life has been a complex mix of experiences. Some days have been like a walk in the park, while other days felt like an uphill run on a rocky road. But every bit of this has helped to define the person I am.
If you’ve ever wondered why we must endure life’s struggles, consider this: Our struggles, and the way we deal with them, are among the many gifts that shape our lives. If we can find it in our hearts to replace resentment, frustration, and anger with appreciation for life’s struggles, we can heal emotional scars and reach the epitome of self improvement success.
Life’s Struggles Build Character
“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.” -Henri-Frederic
Strength & Resilience
My inner strength was not developed through picking flowers and partying every day. Instead, I am the strong, resilient woman that I am because I’ve chosen to get back up repeatedly after being knocked down.
Each time I suffered a little, I gained a little more strength. When I suffered greatly, I gained even greater resistance to weakness and realized that I set my own limitations.
Integrity
Integrity didn’t become one of my strongest character traits because I’ve only been exposed to honest, fair and noble people. I learned the importance of this characteristic by being hurt by those who lacked it.
Intellect
My intellect didn’t come from sleeping until noon everyday and partying with friends all night. I read books instead of entertainment magazines, studied until dawn, showed up for class when I was exhausted, listened to people whose ideas were painfully different than my own, and refused to give up my quest for knowledge.
Compassion
I am indeed a compassionate woman whose heart overflows with love and concern for ALL people. But I haven’t always been tolerant of those much different than myself. I learned the hard way what it’s like to be discriminated against and treated like you don’t matter. Because of my own life’s struggles, I learned that everyone deserves compassion.
Courage
I didn’t gain courage by always being safe. I found myself in multiple situations that scared and worried me. It was a struggle at the time, but surviving those situations was the proof that I needed to realize I’m a survivor. My courage and confidence exist because I’ve slept alone in the dark, I’ve swam without a life jacket, I’ve stood up to the boss, I’ve faced the monsters head-on.
Resourcefulness & Creativity
I am not resourceful because everything and everyone have always been there for me. Instead, I learned resourcefulness because of what was NOT there. Thanks to life’s struggles, thanks to the experience of lack, I learned to create or workaround what isn’t laid at my feet.
Self Esteem
I have healthy self esteem today, but it’s not because everyone always praised me. I learned to love me by painfully watching my own daughter second guess her value and self-worth. Her struggle was my struggle. And it was the push that I needed to deal with my issues, separate how I see myself from how others see me, and set a positive example for the young woman I’m raising.
I would NOT trade strength, compassion, self esteem, integrity, courage and intellect for an effortless life. So, as I embrace these characteristics as a part of me, I recognize the benefit in the struggles that brought me to this point. So what about you?
No matter who you are, there is something wonderful about you. You have something that is of great value to family, friends, strangers, and the Universe as a whole. So, here is the challenge: As you appreciate everything you have to be thankful for, don’t forget about your struggles. Life’s struggles need not be something that you loathe, regret and avoid. They have value. And that value trickles down to create the whole of you and me.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein
Who are you as a result of life’s struggles? Would you trade it all for an easy life? Do you see the benefit in hardship? All comments are welcome.
Delicious
Facebook
Digg
RSS
StumbleUpon
Google
Technorati
Twitter
{ 1 trackback }
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Hello Nea,
Such an inspirational post. I know when I look back, things which at the time, seemed like I wouldn’t get through them, have proabably been the making of me. Not only do they help develop all the traits you mentioned, but also make us appreciate everything which is good in life.
Many thanks,
Kate.
I’m glad you enjoyed the post, Kate. It’s truly amazing to see the benefit in everything–even those things that once seemed to cause us pain.
Most of the best lessons I’ve learned have come from life struggles. I didn’t love them at the time, but looking back I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
I completely understand and agree, Claire.
So beautifully put Nea, “If you’ve ever wondered why we must endure life’s struggles, consider this: Our struggles, and the way we deal with them, are among the many gifts that shape our lives.”
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, Abubakar. Thanks for your comment.
Dear Nea, this is LOVELY! I’d have to honestly say that my greatest growth, courage, self-esteem, fortitude, compassion and love has developed in me from the hard times of my life. I was forced to grow in ways I might not have willing chosen to take on, but when push came to shove, I DID choose to grow and am a much better person for it. So wonderful to see you sharing this view point. I think it’s a very important one because we lose so much when we don’t use life’s challenges to grow. Thank you beautiful soul. Love, Robin
It is amazing how we fight the very life experiences that lead to the development of our most wonderful traits. You are such an amazing person, Robin, and I’m sure it is in large part because of circumstances that you’ve come through. You make this world a better place. Thanks for being you.
Hello Nea,
This is a nicely written post and so true! We must be on the same wave link.
What is a mistake? People have expressed that we learn from our mistakes, and I can clearly see the wisdom in this idea. Many have concluded that without mistakes, we cannot learn the lessons that life has to offer. I am grateful for the so-called mistakes I have made throughout my lifetime. The wonderful thing about living is that we have an opportunity to learn from the error of our ways.
http://gg.thisshouldhelp.net/?p=2258 – “Mistakes or Happy Little Accidents”
Great post once again. Thanks for sharing this topic. Loved it
Nea: I really enjoyed this post and thought you made so many great points. I couldn’t agree more that sometimes the best lessons and opportunities for real growth come as a result of challenges and issues that we encounter. When you do have a great perspective like this, in many instances although you may want to just make it through the challenge, you can appreciate the fact that is a part of your life and know for certain that it will allow you to grow and learn. Thanks again for sharing all these great insights.
Hi Nea,
I enjoyed your post.
I think the ‘why do we suffer’ question always seems to pop up. My take on it is that we subconsciously resist life – the car breaking down, the lay off from work, the lack of money and so on – and then we automatically assign a negative value to these things. As long as we do this, I heard someone once call it the game of black and white, we automatically suffer. The trick is to be aware that we are doing it. Once we become aware it is impossible to keep doing something that is no longer resourceful. I agree with you when you say that we must use this suffering to build character and to teach us valuable lessons.
Reading your article was delightful for me for it is a testament of my life.
There has been much pain, and trouble in my life… plenty of tears shed, but I’m grateful for them all for I am the woman I am today because of the struggles of my past.
Self Esteem…Hmm, is it enough?
I also have a healthy self esteem and I cannot recall having a feeling of worthlessness. Life struggles have always been an issue for me, why struggle, why should life be so difficult? After all I know I am a wonderful person so I deserve more.
I know that there is a lot more to get from life and for many years I have asked myself why me, why has this happened to me? Should I sit back and keep on smiling while life dishes out so much.
I want life to be easy and why not.
I like your articles, they flow so well and I know what you say is true. For me something is missing and I believe in the power of the subconscious mind. The power to program myself for goodness and success. After all I want life to be easy and wonderful, why not.