There are tons of self improvement techniques available to us, but sometimes it’s hard to decide how (if at all) to apply that advice in your life. An amazing starting point is to accept that your world is primarily shaped by you—not by other people, places, or situations.
Once you realize that it is you (and your vision of the world) that determine the way you experience life, you can successfully apply self improvement information to create your life anew. Let’s get started.
Your Vision of the World
How would you describe the world that we live in? Is there a lot to be afraid of? A lot to be angry about? A lot to love? A lot to improve? A lot to appreciate? We all see the world through different eyes, but one thing is certain: What you see is based on what you believe and, more importantly, who you are. With that said, it’s helpful to distinctly define who you are, how you’re limiting yourself, and which self improvement techniques are best for your personal transformation.
The Worrier
Are you the worrier? The worrier is a warmhearted person who lives in a 
world riddled with problems and sadness. What she sees is that people don’t care about each other, animals are harmed each day, elderly people are mistreated, laws are broken, marriages don’t last, children are abused, people are starving to death, and schools aren’t educating children.
Every time you turn around she finds a new cause to support or a new problem to protest. Heartbreaking news, events, and circumstances surround her.
The worrier feels guilty about enjoying a day in the park with her family or spending money on things that she loves. After all, she could be spending that time or money fighting for the next big cause.
The worrier never stops worrying about what is going wrong or what may go wrong in the future. She’s often overprotective of loved ones and disappointed with those who “waste” their time and money. She often experiences extreme anxiety and frustration—the remnants of her focus on what’s wrong in the world.
The worrier’s world is a big mess—one that keeps her eyes filled with tears. Her world is one in which she is not safe, her loved ones are not safe, and life is one sad news broadcast after another.
But is that because the world is truly a sad, pitiful place? Or is it because of who she is? She is the worrier.
Self improvement techniques for the worrier:
- Meditation and deep breathing
- Positive thinking
- Anxiety Management
- Replace mainstream news with inspirational stories
- The Placemat Process
The Royal
For the guys and gals who believe the Earth revolves around them—life appears to pan out that way. Take a look at the royal. His world is filled with two types of people: those who see things his way and those who are wrong.
In the royal’s world, everyone either wants to be with him or to be like him. You can’t convince him that there’s a girl on Earth who is uninterested. When people lash out at the royal, he doesn’t wonder if they dislike his snobby attitude. When people stare at him, he doesn’t feel self-conscious. Snide remarks don’t bother him one bit.
As far as the royal is concerned, people just can’t help themselves. They are watching, admiring, and envying his sheer awesomeness. All attention from others feeds his vision of himself.
Is the royal in fact as awesome as he believes? Well, that’s irrelevant when we’re looking at how he experiences life. Like you and I, his thoughts are his reality. This is his world and he is at the center of it all.
If you’re wondering how life as a royal may be problematic, consider this: The royal may be so blissfully unaware of people’s true feelings that he never resolves problems. He may have trouble on the job because he won’t acknowledge (or improve) his limitations. He may have a series of unsuccessful courtships or marriages because he’s unable to cater to anyone other than himself.
The royal’s world is completely self serving and every problem he experiences is (seemingly) the result of those who envy his greatness.
Depending on the degree of the royal’s narcissism, self improvement may be out of the question. After all, you have to believe you’re a work-in-progress in order to do the work.
Self improvement techniques for the royal:
- Choose (at least) 3 imperfections to address with a trusted therapist
- Develop listening and communication skills
- Emotional intelligence exercises
- Relationship Repair
The Doubter
Convinced that trust in people leads to pain, the doubter approaches every situation with extreme caution—shield up to guard against hurt and pain.
She fears being hurt, deceived or made to look like a fool; so she’s skeptical of anyone who seeks a close relationship with her. And guess what! She experiences the hurts that she fears as if they are magnetically drawn to her. She experiences deceit, betrayal and situations that rouse skepticism more than any other person.
The doubter’s world is a threatening one—a world that constantly feeds her anxious, fearful, doubtful mindset. With so much energy poured into shielding against pain and heartache, there can’t be much room left to experience joyful, healthy relationships.
She hesitates so long that great opportunities pass her by. Rather than putting up with accusations and distrust, trustworthy people find their way out of her life. But guess who sticks around to showers her with proof of what she believes to be true about the world. That’s right—it’s the people who match her beliefs. As is true of us all, she maintains relationships and situations that are in alignment with who she is. She is the doubter.
Self improvement techniques for the doubter:
- Process past disappointments
- Anxiety Management
- Positive affirmations
- Forgive others and release resentment
- Positive thinking
- Lifestyle Hypnosis
The Fighter
He is convinced that everything is a conspiracy and that life is primarily about defending yourself. This is the fighter. He sees malicious motives where others might argue they don’t exist. He’s constantly on alert; convinced that trouble, hatred, malice, and deviance are around every corner.
In many cases, this person grew up in an abusive household or was raised by a militant parent. In other cases, this person may have neglected by parents, thus forced to constantly protect himself, as a child.
Can you imagine what life is like for those who are always mentally and physically preparing to battle, defend, oppose, and protect? It is exactly as they expect it.
The fighter’s mentality results in situation after situation that matches his beliefs about the world. He may expend a lot of mental energy on resisting authority or making others accept his beliefs as right. He may also be prone to physical fighting.
The fighter’s world is an angry one filled with the need to live as an attack dog—ready to strike.
Self improvement techniques for the fighter:
- Anger management and conflict resolution
- Look for new, more positive truths
- Meditation and deep breathing
- Create a gratitude journal
Nea is a Transformational Life Coach whose mission is to help you love your life.
If you desire the “good life” and you want to know how Nea can help you attain it, contact her now.
Hi, I'm Nea. As a 
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As I read this – and especially the part about the Worrier, I get a bad feeling. Why?
Let us assume the following. A crime is committed. A fraud. It is known who committed the crime. It is known who the victims are. There are many. And the judicial system do nothing about it, even if the crime has been reported and the case is crystal clear. Should the crime go unpunished?
The part about the Worrier suggests that it should go unpunished. It suggest’s that it is the victim that should improve. Why? The best consolation would be that the criminal was brougth to justice and convicted. It is not the victim that needs improvement, it is the failing judicial system that need it.
The part about the Worrier suggest’s a denial. A denial of the fact that the judicial system has failed. And that gives me a bad feeling.
Yours Sincerely.
Ingmar Forne
Hi Ingmar. Thanks for your comment. Nothing here suggests that victims are at fault or that people shouldn’t reach out to each other. The Worrier is a personality that obsessively worries about things outside of his/her control. This has damaging effects on a person’s emotional well-being. Obsessive worrying has never fixed anything (justice system or otherwise).
There is no need to deny any part of life and I’m certain this article doesn’t suggest that. The point here is to decide who you are and how you will embrace this world as a whole. The worrier’s choice (though subconscious) is to focus obsessively on what is going wrong.
The key is balance. We can recognize (and work on) the negatives within our control while continuing to focus our attention on divine order, improvement, love, and the enormous amount of good that exists in our world. Nothing positive comes from being stuck in a way of thinking that is counterproductive to living a life of joy.
Hi Nea,
You did a wonderful job pinpointing each aspect of the problem areas in life. I think that on some level, there is a minute portion of each of these in us all. The real issue is how to overcome them and become grateful. I do know many people that fall into excessive worry, fear, and doubt. We have to WANT to overcome and enjoy life before our outlook can change. Regardless of how far I have come in my life, I continue to come up against these issues. There is a balance in self-help and eradicating everything is not as important as being aware and facing the demons in our lives.
Thanks so much for your comment Sandra. You’re so right about the fact that we don’t necessarily have to rid ourselves of everything. There will be moments of negativity for us all. The key, I believe, is to determine what will primarily define us. We will primarily be joyful people who have occasional moments of negative thinking OR negative people who occasionally see the positive side? It’s clear which choice makes for a happier life.
Well said Nea!
Hi Nea, nice blog you have here. i agree that you have to identify who you are before you can start learning to change and improve yourself to become better. Keep spreading the motivation alive! Regards, Lou
Thanks so very much Lou. Your compliment means a lot to me.
Hi Nea,
This is a great overview of the different types of people. I used to be a worrier and a doubter (yes, life was crap!!) I did a lot of work on myself, and am a completely different person.
I think sometimes people think being a ‘worrier’ is just part of them, there make up, well it isn’t. I completely agree worrying about the things we cannot alter is futile……and worrying about the things we can change is wasting time – get on and change them instead of worrying!
Kate
So very well stated Kate. I love the part about not wasting time–if you can change it then just get on with it. Awesome comment!
I owe You an apology. I mistakenly thought that You had deleted my comment on this post. I jumped to conlucions. I’m sorry.
No need to apologize Ingmar. Your comments are welcome here anytime. Differences of opinion are a part of life’s beauty–we can be ourselves and learn from one another. Love to you.
I am the worrier!!!. Definitely need to work on this.
Nea: What a great post and it is so helpful to see and understand the different classifications. It was interesting to see the connection between them all because they all illustrated how easy it is to fall into traps and buy into things that are not true or getting us to the right frame of mind. There really are so many distractions and I think we have t be self aware so that we can correct and work through any negative beliefs or perceptions about ourselves. Great post.
Your insight is right on Sibyl. Self awareness really is the beginning point of self improvement. I’m glad you enjoyed the different classifications. There are 2 other major classifications that I plan to post this weekend. They’re major and require a post of their own.
I might be a mix between fighter and worrier, though I do understand that my “worrier” mentality is messing up my life. I am learning about how positive thoughts create positive vibration which in turn bring positive aspects in our life, and in the lives of people around us. Being a fighter is also in a negative vein and I am trying to relax more and more, and appreciate life instead of fighting or complaining about it. Thanks for the lovely article.
That’s a very interesting and very common combo Neel. Sometimes the worrier becomes the fighter. It’s like a next step, but it sounds like you are on the road to recovery. None of us are perfect, thus we are either stagnant or in recovery (bettering ourselves). Best of luck in learning to relax more. It’s not easy at first, but I can promise you that it slowly gets better.
i really enjoyed reading your articles. looking foward to reading more. i recognized some things about myself that i have been denying to be true. im sure others have too.
Hi Toni. I’m so happy to hear that you’re experiencing self awareness. That’s always the first step. I’m sending you hugs and well wishes for becoming a better you.
Hi Nea, Great post and well broken down on the types of insecurites we can all feel. This reminds me a lot of Yogic texts that talk about the first of the eight branches of yoga called the Yamas.
Hi Ed. I’m not familiar with the Yamas, but you’ve sparked my curiosity. I’ll definitely look into it.
wow @ Great @!
It’s great stumbling upon blogs like yours!
I’d say that at those times when I’m not in tune with myself, I can fluctuate towards them all to an extent, but less and less as I get wiser and happier.
I think meditation is advisable for every personality type, it’s so important to connect with oneself and learn to rid of worry, doubt, anger and self-importance!
Thanks so much for your comment. I think most people experience such moments. We’re human so that is to be expected. The wonderful thing is that we can gain an awareness of our tendencies towards such behaviors, thus we prevent some of the dysfunction that may arise.
This article is very interesting. The way life is experienced is really up to the individual person. Sometimes there are things in life that get in the way and hinder they way we feel, but its important to keep a positive outlook.
great post! i think this will help me a lot to know more about myself and how can i improve it.
thank you for sharing this wonderful information. keep up the good work and i look forward for more reading..
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