How to Escape the Chronic Stress Loop

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In the Self Improvement Saga blog post 30 Ways to Reduce Stress and Restore Balance, I addressed quick-fixes to relieve stress when life gets hectic.  However, many people suffer from chronic stress that keeps coming back over and over and over.

While busy jobs, restless children and marital problems are stressful; external factors are usually not the main culprit for chronic stress.  This type of recurring, ongoing stress is often self- induced.  Now, hold on a second!  That doesn’t mean you have an excuse to ridicule or blame yourself.  It simply means that, with a little behavior modification, you can take control of your stress level—and your level of happiness.

If you or someone you know is trapped in a seemingly endless stress loop, the self improvement techniques below may be the key to your escape.

Let’s look at how we create chronic stress and the path to permanent relief.

1. Grow Accustomed to Risk-Taking

Not everyone is a high stakes gambler, but we must learn to handle some risks in order to live with less stress.  Time after time in life, we don’t have the answer, we don’t know the outcome, or we aren’t sure of the right way to turn.  Nonetheless, we have to make a decision.

The less a person is able to accept uncertainty, the more likely they are to stress-out about life’s endless possibilities.  Instead of having a panic attack when faced with the unknown, build up your tolerance for risks by stepping outside of your comfort zone now.  It won’t take long before you realize that you can handle it, you will handle it, and there’s no reason to spend your life worrying about it.

2. Give Up On Perfectionism

In case you don’t know it yet, perfectionism is not a desirable trait.  It is unusually counterproductive and stressful.

Consider this: If you can’t step away from A until it is perfect, when will you get started on B?  If you can’t handle being imperfect, how will you ever stop obsessing over what others might say about you? In the quest for perfection, how will you ever get rest or a break?  These questions address the double edge sword that is perfectionism.  It may look like you’re busy doing your absolute best; but you’re really missing out on opportunities, losing productivity, and creating chronic stress.

The truth is that even the most successful people in the world make mistakes—big ones.  And that is okay!  Nobody is perfect and you can only harm yourself by chasing such an unachievable standard.

3. No More Polarized Thinking

“If I don’t get this promotion, I’m a failure.”  That’s a perfect example of polarized thinking.  This all-or-nothing outlook adds an enormous amount of pressure, thus it is a major cause of stress.

If you typically see everything as black or white, begin deliberately exploring the gray areas. Challenge yourself to disprove your polarized thoughts with real examples to the contrary.

4. Get Over the “No” Allergy

People who don’t speak up for themselves end up taking on much more than they should.  They may say yes to others despite feeling sick, emotionally drained, physically tired, or just uninterested.

Considering that they overlook their own needs, it’s not surprising that unassertive people suffer from chronic stress. There is no quick-fix for becoming assertive, but there are many resources available to help you develop assertiveness skills.

5. Replace Negative Self Talk With a Positive Outlook

The mere act of waking up to face a new day can be stressful if you engage in the common behavior of negative self-talk.  This doesn’t have anything to do with talking aloud; it’s regarding the things that you think about yourself.

If you constantly tell yourself that you can’t do it, you’re not smart enough, you’re not pretty enough, or you never do anything right; you will constantly feel overwhelmed.  After all, it’s impossible to relax when you doubt your ability to succeed in the game of life.

Positive affirmations and subliminal messages are 2 wonderful ways to overcome negative self talk, so start affirming yourself to be absolutely awesome.

6. Bye Bye Control Freak

Since we can’t control anything outside of ourselves, being a control freak is a recipe for emotional disaster.  You can’t help but feel stressed out when you’re trying to control the uncontrollable.  Giving up the control freak mentality is critical if you want to get off the self-triggered stress roller coaster.

Start by delegating a small task to someone and refusing to dictate how they accomplish the goal.  Make it known that you have faith in them and then WALK AWAY.  You’ll feel compelled to oversee the process, but self control must come into play at this point.  When it’s all over, even if the task wasn’t completed as you would’ve done it, show appreciation.  Realize that the world doesn’t come to an end when you stop attempting to control everything and everyone.

7. Flex Your Way Out of Rigidity

For some people, variation from the plan feels catastrophic.  In fact, the mere thought of detouring from a chosen path rouses anxiety and extreme stress in those who are inflexible.  This is unfortunate because there are times in life when we have no other choice.

You may be the best planner in the world, always careful to create a plan, a backup plan, and a backup for the backup plan; however, life can’t always be done “by the book.”  A rule may need to be broken, a plan may need to be tossed out, or there may be other needs for flexibility.

If you’re uncomfortable with change, start working toward being more flexible now.  Start by adding a little spontaneity to your life.  Take a sudden vacation with little or no planning.  Try an exotic food that you never thought you’d taste. These are fun, easy ways to loosen up and let stress pass you by.

Do you use any other techniques to relieve stress or prevent chronic stress?

Nea Justice

Nea is a Transformational Life Coach whose mission is to help you love your life.

If you desire the “good life” and you want to know how Nea can help you attain it, contact her now.

    

Tagged as: Coping skills, Self improvement techniques, Stress