Internal and external conflict, emotional pain, unwanted impulses, stressors—we all face them at some point in our lives. But the ego defense mechanisms we use to deal with these things often take on a life of their own.
What are Ego Defense Mechanisms?
Ego defense mechanisms are techniques that we use to deal, albeit ineffectively, with certain aspects of life. Unlike positive coping skills, defense mechanisms are ways of surviving rather than coping.
With or without awareness of it, we all have a desire to protect the mind (the ego) from anxiety, distress, social restrictions and a variety of troubling circumstances.
When we feel unable or unwilling to face reality, we unconsciously draw on ego defense mechanisms to distort that reality into something more tolerable. The problem, however, is that habitual use of defense mechanisms hinders emotional maturity and personal growth, ruins relationships, and leaves problems unresolved.
The list below includes some of the most common defense mechanisms documented in psychology.
Defense Mechanisms Examples
1. Acting out – Performing physical actions as a way of responding to emotional pain or stressors. The action is usually an unconscious attempt to reduce anxiety by giving in to impulses or gaining attention. Examples include punching a hole in the wall, throwing things, giving in to an addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambling), having an affair, hitting someone, and setting off a bomb.
2. Aim inhibition – Downgrading from what you really want to something that feels easier, more attainable or less frustrating. There are times when settling for something different than your original goal is needed, so this isn’t always a negative ego defense mechanism. For example, Joe wants to play basketball; but his rheumatoid arthritis is so painful that he decides to become a coach. On the other hand, this defense mechanism can unnecessarily create limitations that hinder your success in life. Example: Sue really wants to be a doctor, but she is so afraid of not measuring up in medical school that she becomes a medical biller.
3. Avoidance – Refusing to encounter situations that may rouse anxiety, fear, jealousy or negative impulses. A classic example is someone who avoids social situations rather than learning to overcome feelings of insecurity. However, avoidance can be far less obvious. For example, taking a perfectionist approach to certain tasks can be an unconscious attempt to disallow time for tasks that rouse feelings of fear or anxiety.
4. Deflection – Changing the subject to avoid dealing with something painful, distressing or anxiety-producing. The person who deflects will attempt to protect his ego by redirecting attention to another person, place, thing or circumstance. This is often noticed in arguments when one person responds to an accusation or complaint by pointing to a time when the other person did something equally undesirable.
5. Denial – Denial takes on many forms; including the following: not recognizing what is blatantly obvious, pretending something didn’t happen, not acknowledging potential bad consequences of certain actions, disregarding risks and danger. Defense mechanism examples: A parent who ignores all the signs that a child is doing drugs; or a person who blocks out the risks of getting caught when having an extramarital affair. Denial allows the person to protect the ego, reduce anxiety and act on socially unacceptable impulses.
6. Displacement – Satisfying an instinctual drive through a subject other than the one it’s intended for. An example is an aggressive person who can’t express anger at work, so she takes it out on her spouse and children at home. Another displacement defense mechanism example is an intense rebound relationship in which a person tries to replace a lost love with someone new, thus pouring all of the old emotions into the new person.
7. Compartmentalization – Engaging in a set of thoughts or actions that are very different from everything else you do, stand for, or claim as your core identity. An example is a minister who is well-known for teaching against homosexuality, yet he secretly has sex with gay men or fantasizes about it.
8. Help-Rejecting Complaining – Repeatedly soliciting help by complaining to others; then expressing hidden negative feelings by rejecting that help and continuing to complain. This defense mechanism may be used to relieve anxiety from stressors by complaining; as well as, to express repressed hostility by rejecting someone’s attempts to help.
9. Humor – Laughing at circumstances that are clearly not funny or focusing the attention on any amusing aspects of painful circumstances. An example is an obese woman who jokingly says her stomach is a built-in pillow. The laughter attempts to protect the ego and handle the emotional pain by disguising her true feelings about what she sees in the mirror.
10. Idealization – Making something out to be much better than it is, ignoring the defaults or negative aspects and playing up the good parts. A common example of this is a person who enters a very risky relationship or chooses to stay in a very unhealthy relationship. By playing up some positive aspect of the person or relationship; she can act on the impulsive desire while reducing anxiety, ignoring red flags, and not dealing with the uncomfortable elements of this choice.
11. Incorporation – Almost becoming another person—taking parts of them into you. This may include defining or redefining yourself according to someone else’s values, preferences, attitudes, expectations. The most common example is children blindly modeling themselves after parents.
12. Intellectualization – Excessively using generalizations, logic (no matter how flawed) and reasoning to protect the ego from some part of reality. In order to detract from human and emotional elements, the person’s focus is on words, complex terminology, facts and statistics. An example is a man who justifies sex with a 12 year old by quoting statistics on children legally marrying adult men in other cultures and throughout history.
13. Passive Aggression – Indirectly expressing aggression while masking hostility under the guise of compliance. This is one of the most widely used and well-known ego defense mechanisms. An example is slamming pots and pans while washing dishes rather than telling other family members you’re angry with them for not helping out.
14. Projection – Unconsciously putting your thoughts, feelings or impulses off on someone else. In other words, it means believing that someone else is implying, thinking or feeling something that actually applies (or has applied) to you. This ego defense mechanism is used excessively by paranoid types. Example: Jim feels angry (or bitter, sad, vindictive). Instead of dealing with his own emotions, he decides that his wife feels that way and/or that she is trying to make him feel that way.
15. Projective Identification – Similar to projection except the person is aware that the feelings, thoughts, and impulses are their own. They attribute them to the other person by deciding they are justifiable reactions to the other person. Example: Jim is so angry that he’s acting out violently, but he believes his actions are rightful actions because his wife “pushed his buttons.”
16. Rationalization – Developing a socially acceptable explanation for something actually produced by impulses. This is often used to protect the ego from feelings of guilt associated with giving in to controllable desires. Feeling compelled to max out her credit cards on a shopping spree, a shopaholic may rationalize that she needs to enhance her image in order to get a new promotion.
17. Reaction Formation – Going to the extreme to deal with impulses. It usually involves a large degree of overcompensating. For example, you’re attracted to your friend’s husband so you go out of your way to act as if you hate him.
18. Repression – Unconsciously forgetting something painful or anxiety producing. With this defense mechanism, the person isn’t thinking about the impulse or stressor. Nonetheless, the memory is still there within the psyche, so the person continues to experience its effects throughout life. An example is someone who doesn’t remember childhood molestation, but he experiences problems typical of abuse victims until the truth is revealed and resolved.
19. Somatization – Manifesting negative emotions, stressors and anxiety in physical form. The person may consciously or unconsciously find physical pain more tolerable. High blood pressure, chronic sore throat, chest pain, chronic injuries are all examples of the body absorbing some of the mental, emotional and psychological pain. Using these somatic symptoms to gain sympathy and avoid conflict is called hypochondriasis.
20. Suppression – Consciously pushing something out of the memory. Suppression may be as simple as having a drunken night out on the town while deciding not to think about an important project due at work the next day. Suppression may also include forcing yourself to “forget” about something devastating you saw or experienced.
Did you learn anything from the ego defense mechanisms examples? Were you able to recognize the defensive techniques you use most frequently? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Don’t forget to read the follow-up post…Coping Strategy Rehab: Your Prescrption for Defense Mechanisms
Nea is a Life Transformation Coach who believes happiness should never be optional.
If you’re ready to live a happier, more fulfilling life and you want to know how Nea can help you overcome what stands in your way, contact her now or click the link here to learn more about life coaching
Subscribe to the Self Improvement Saga RSS feed for inspirational updates.
Hi, I'm Nea. As a 
{ 8 comments }
Wow Nea,
I am so grateful to have this feed! My husband and I were in counseling about six months ago, and it’s beyond me that we learned quite a few of these, and yet, I realize that we are right back to doing the same things we did before. I believe, we will have to re-read these continually so we don’t drift back again. It’s so easy to slowly get back to square one…so thank you for the refresher. I needed it!!!!
Hi Heather. I’m happy to hear that you’ve sought the help of a counselor to help with communication in your marriage. We can’t change our lifelong habits overnight, but understanding them goes a long way. There’s that inner child within us all that we keep wanting to protect. When someone is being very defensive with me, I try to see that scared little child in them. Maybe that will help you and your husband as well. Just remember to be patient with each other and applaud every baby step that you take in the right direction. Love and hugs to you.
Ah wow, great stuff Nea! This is the first time I’ve visited your blog, and I plan on coming back for more. You write really well and fluidly.
I must admit, I have my ego-defense mechanisms that are relentless at times. Even today at work, I felt myself getting cocky with someone when I realised I was in the right. Afterwards, I felt embarrassed that I still think like that, but I resolve to cut it down, and cut it out.
Hope you’re well
This is such a comprehensive list – fabulous!
Number 9 really stuck a chord – I treat a lot of people with a huge variety of different symptoms and illnesses. I would estimate about 15% of them are cured by treating underlying anxiety/stress/depression/other ‘mental’ illnesses. About another 40% also have a component of this and both aspects are treated simultaneously.
Personally I have been known to act out on a few occasions……a few things have been thrown in anger…….not something I’m proud of but luckily I am poor shot and no-one was hurt!
#19 rings true but I am working on it. Great article.
Nea – Thanks for putting this list together. It is funny how the universe works. I have been baffled as to how my wife thinks all the issues in our marriage are because I am such a monster. Well a friend was talking to me about “projection” just yesterday and here it is again. While I certainly have several of these defenses that I use depending on the situation, I betcha, my wife would have a difficult time listing any that she incorporates. We are now in counseling and the counselor has already called both of us on the carpet for our conduct. I just hope she is listening and willing to change. Your blog gives me hope.
This is really interesting. I wanted to remark, that some of these are actually considered healthy and mature ways of dealing with psychological stress.
Humor, for example, is probably the only defense mechanism you can use where you don’t lie to yourself or distort reality. It’s considered a level 4 “Mature” defense mechanism, at least on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_mechanism#Level_4_-_Mature
My biggest downfall is probably the intellectualization defense mechanism. I often find myself bringing things that are uncomfortable into the land of facts and logic so I can minimize them. Doh!
Very interesting article.. thank you!
Thanks Fred. I’m so happy that you enjoyed the article. I’ll elaborate a bit on your comment to provide some clarification.
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell the difference between a negative defense mechanism and a positive defense mechanism. A positive mechanism is actually a coping skill. It can be great to use humor to lighten things up, but there are people who use this in a way that negatively impacts their lives. I’ve seen it before and it’s quite unhealthy. An example is a drug addict who constantly jokes about the horrible things that have happened to him or those that may happen in the future. It’s a defense mechanism because it is not actually a way of coping or handling the issue. It’s a way of not coping. I hope that makes a little more sense.
Comments on this entry are closed.