“Walking your talk is a great way to motivate yourself. No one likes to live a lie. Be honest with yourself, and you will find the motivation to do what you advise others to do.” ~Vince Poscente
Big Changes on My Self Improvement Journey
My dear readers and friends, I’ve made a big transition in my life that I’d like to share with you. 5 days ago, I packed up my and my daughter’s belongings and moved more than 800 miles away from the only place I’ve ever lived.
I left home, leaving behind family, friends and everything familiar. That’s the move of someone daring, risky, fearless, spontaneous—someone so much unlike me.
I was born and raised in Memphis, TN, which was still my place of residence until 5 days ago. I grew up in Memphis, my entire family is there, the weather is great, the cost of living is low and my closest friends are always right around the corner. Nonetheless, I have wanted to spread my wings and fly far away for as long as I can remember.
The Calling
It was never my destiny to spend the rest of my life in my hometown. Every fiber of my being is sure of that. I can’t deny for a second that I’ve always felt “called” away from home, as if by a magnetic force pulling me forward. But my fears worked against that force, pulling me backward in response to every pull forward.
I thought about moving all the time. I dreamed of moving. I hoped I would someday have a chance to move. But until now, the tug of war battle between my dreams and my fears had a winner that kept me stagnant.
The Fear
The fearful me chose security over opportunity, caution over adventure, the familiar over the unknown, my comfort zone over new experiences. The fearful me just wouldn’t budge; and so it was in control.
The weather, the people, the housing, my daughter, my significant other, the schools, the jobs—I’ve used everything and everyone as an excuse for not relocating. Those excuses were my mask.
They let me hide the scared little girl inside of me who was too afraid to move far away from family, to leave a large support system behind, to make new friends. Too afraid to grow, to start living, to take a risk, to spread her wings and fly.
Deciding to Go Forward
One of my New Years resolutions for 2011 was to shake things up in my life, to live a little. I decided this would be my year to follow my heart, take chances, and walk the talk. Relocating is the start of that.
Today is a new day. I am a new me. And moving away to start a new life is no longer just a dream. It’s no longer something I hope for, dream of, and halfheartedly prepare to do. I’m done waiting for, or planning for, the right time. Instead, I chose to make this time the right time.
Life Outside the Comfort Zone
I’m living just outside of Minneapolis, Minnesota now instead of my hometown, Memphis, Tennessee. I moved this past Sunday and the change is a big one.
I’ve seen more snow in these last few days than I have in my entire life. I don’t know my way around, so I”m relying on my GPS and the one friend who I know in the entire city. The air was so cold yesterday that my forehead felt as though it was burning. There are street signs that I’ve never seen in my life, so I failed the written test for a MN driver’s license. (How sad is that!) My new apartment is in a great neighborhood, but it’s old and lacking the amenities I want. Comcast has not come out to get my Internet access setup, so I’m using a neighbor’s ridiculously slow, and sometimes inaccessible, unsecured wireless connection (a whole 5mbps).
But dammit I love my life right now.
I am absolutely 100% overjoyed with my decision. New faces, new places, new opportunities. New love, new dreams, new plans. I feel as if I finally released the hand of that little girl inside me and let her know that she can safely fly free. Way to grow!
For me, there is no turning back. I don’t mean that there is no turning back to Memphis. Maybe I’ll just go back to visit, maybe I’ll retire there someday. But there is no turning back to a life controlled by what-ifs, self-doubt, fear and worries about the opinions of others. I wholeheartedly embrace the freedom and liberation that come with risks and change.
In Minnesota, as in any other place, I’m sure I’ll experience good and bad times, I’ll meet friendly people and toxic people, I’ll learn some fun lessons and some tough lessons, I’ll make mistakes as well as accomplish goals. But I will have no regrets. I can never regret feeling so very good, so free, so in control of my destiny. Through everything to come, I’ll remain proud of myself for having the courage to shake things up and give my journey a little color.
Freedom, Liberation, Change
There is no way to make changes in your life other than to make them, no way to do something you’re afraid to do other than to do it, no way to learn and grow other than to experience. I accept that now and I encourage the same for anyone out there who has been in my shoes.
When your heart is calling you forward and the only thing truly standing in your way is fear and doubt, take action. You can’t make the fear go away, but you can make a fearless move that will set you free. Just put one foot before the other and step—no, leap—outside your comfort zone.
I firmly believe that our Inner Being communicates with us constantly, whether we listen or not. When you hear that little voice calling within, or feel yourself being guided (or drawn) to someone or something that sets your heart aglow—that is worth listening to.
Even in the face of a million excuses tugging you away from something you’ve always wanted to do, see, or experience; I wish you the courage to follow the Inner Guidance that’s pulling you forward.
Listen to your heart, your Higher Self, that small voice within. And by all means, remember the words of the late Joseph Campbell, “Follow your Bliss.”
Related Self Help Blog Posts
The Courage to Live Fearlessly
Photo credit: Mr Mykal
Nea is a Transformational Life Coach with a passion for helping people like you to live the life of their dreams.
If you’re truly ready to change your life and you want to know how Nea can help you overcome what stands in your way, contact her now or click the link below to learn more about life coaching.
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{ 26 comments }
Planting yourself in a new place is never an easy move. You’re very brave! There will no doubt be a lot of challenges along the way. But, be strong. All the best!
Thanks for reading the post. And thanks so very much for the encouragement.
This is very heart warming Nea and thank you for sharing it. How often I stopped myself from moving forward for fear of uncertainty, preference of my comfort zone and not paying attention to my inner voice. It felt like you were speaking about me. Thank you for a brilliant motivating & inspirational rendition of your experience. Wishing you a fantastic journey ahead.
Jo
Thanks so much, Jo. I’m still in disbelief that I finally pushed myself to do this; but I’m so very happy about it. You’ll make a big leap when you’re ready too.
Nea,
WOW! It takes a lot of character and strength to do what you just did. While it is scary at the beginning, it is also exhilarating. This is a story that you will be sharing for the rest of your life. There are times in our lives that we have to step back in order to move forward.
I wish you the best in your new endeavors. “Don’t let fear stand in the way of your Dreams”
P.S. Are you experiencing internet withdrawal? LOL.
Roberto, you called me out on experiencing internet withdrawal. I thought I’d pull my hair out. I received my personal hotspot (wireless device) in the mail today, hooked it up, and found my way back to the Internet highway. Thank Heavens! I also passed that drivers license test.
Hi,
This it’s the first time that i’m visiting your blog and i like it very much. Thank you for sharing this great article. I’m really enjoying. Please don’t stop just keep going.
There’s no stopping. Self improvement ideas will flow forth from this site as long as I’m alive and capable.
Congratulations Nea! You achieved what you’ve longing for. I’ll never have such a courage to move far away from my home… It must be exciting right? Well don’t afraid though. You’re not alone. Your readers and fans (include me) will always be there no matter which part of the globe you go (with internet ya)
Good luck!
Noel you have no idea how much I appreciate your support. Thanks so much for the well wishes. I’m having fun as I slowly learn about my new city and venture out to meet new people.
Wow. Bold move Nea …. very inspiring post! Congratulations on the fact that you “finally released the hand of that little girl inside” and pursued the calling of your heart. I know how much courage that must have taken … all too well.
But I’ve got to ask … Minnesota??? Of all the places! I was expecting to read L.A., San Diego, perhaps Seattle. Hey – wherever the soul is pulled I guess …
Best to you,
Scott
Ha ha ha, Scott. I figured MN was still a bit “safer” since I at least know 2 people that live here. I did strongly consider Seattle, though. Who knows where the wind will blow me next!
WOW!
I’m impressed that you stepped out. That is a real encouragement that you feel so good having made that step forward. I tend to be a bit of a homely person and quickly feel lost even on visits away. Seems like you really have broken free. Be blessed by that.
Hi Marty. Homely is quite the word to describe me as well. The challenge of being such a reserved person and now needing to make new connections will be interesting. I think this is a great step to foster growth for me. Thanks for your support.
Beautiful and inspiring … thank you Nea and best of luck in your new adventure
Open your wings and fly…
I liked the last section a lot. You are right, we can’t know how beautiful or how ugly something is, until we try it. Thinking about one thing is something and doing it is a totally different thing.
Thank you and best of luck
Zeina
I really appreciate the encouragement Zeina. Moving was the first step, but there’s quite a journey ahead.
So what’s this guy’s name?
I find it hard to believe that you just moved from Tennessee to Minnesota just for the heck of it. Surely you have a rich boyfriend who is going to take care of you. I think that you need to tell the whole story.
It just seems like a huge lie because there is no logic to your story. Do the right thing and tell the whole story.
That’s pretty funny, Yadgyu. I think what is so great about the decision I’ve made is that it doesn’t have a lot of “logic” to it. I’ve been drowning in logic for most of my life. It feels good to just let go and do something that seems crazy, unreasonable and risky.
If I happen to meet that rich boyfriend along the way, I’ll be sure to let everyone know all about him.
This is huge Nea! You are so inspiring. Best of luck!!!
Thank you so very much, Meg.
Dear Nea, this article is really very inspiring. I reflected in myself, about all the fears which stops me from taking risks and also sometimes from remaining happy in myself. We always care for safe zones and overlook other opportunities and spaces.
Its the fear within, which needs to be challenged rather than the challenging situation.
Thanks for your most valuable contribution in our life.
First time to your site, great post and anyone can relate on it.. you have a
strong personality, as I can see you would face all the challenge with a head
up high..
good luck to your new adventure….
So happy for you! Congratulations!
I’ve done the big move twice now – it’s so fun and have never regretted it.
My big fear lately that has really kept me stuck and in a little ball in my bedroom is making the big step of growing my business even more and leaving my cushy part time job to do this entirely. You’ve really inspired me to take the next big step.
Hugs!
Hi Nea it’s my first time to visit your blog and I thoroughly enjoyed it especially this story, what a bold move but I’m happy that surpassed it and I hope that you keep on going. This is truly an inspiration!
Hi Nea, a friend of mine told me about your blog. I love it! I too am facing a big cross country move and I am terrified! Your story makes me feel a little bit better about being away from my family and friends. I hope you update your blog on what happens next on your big journey. how did you decide on MN? my move is more work driven (job transfer)
I commend you on your courage to pick up and go………….I’ve always wanted to do the same thing, but much like you, I’ve let fear keep me planted. Not sure why you went to the winter wonder land of MN though………LOL……I think maybe a nice, warm Southern state would be better…..
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