8 Ways to Take Total Responsibility for Your Life…and Feel Good About It

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Today’s self improvement ideas aren’t the most easy to embrace, but very little changes without them.  No matter what’s wrong or right in your life, you’ll find yourself stuck in a rut whenever you indulge in blame.  The boss may have it out for you, the economy may suck and a health issue may have arisen out of nowhere.  Maybe your children ignore you, your spouse nags you and your friends have too many problems of their own. You didn’t choose any of it, so someone must be to blame. Right? If not, then you must be all your fault? Right?

Well, blame is a choice. Sometimes, it’s a choice that feels good, but it comes at a high price that nobody really want to pay. Let’s take a look at 8 ways to turn your life around by stopping blame and taking responsibility for your life.

1. Get your kicks elsewhere. It’s important to admit to yourself that you’re getting something out of any repetitive, negative behavior that you’re engaging in. Look closely at the way you feel when you blame a person or circumstance instead of taking responsibility. Do you feel a little more justified in your own action or inaction? Does it help you avoid feelings of guilt, failure or incompetency and the way you devalue yourself when these things are present? Does it make you look better, or at least give you the illusion that you look better, to others when blame lies elsewhere? Take note of whatever you’re getting out of blaming other people and circumstances. Consider why you crave what you’re getting and whether or not it’s worth having. If it is in fact something worth having, make a list of more empowering ways to fulfill the desire. If it’s not worth having, simply release your attachment to it.
2. Surround yourself with the right people. Seek out and allot time in your schedule for those who are empowered,confident, accountable, and known for taking full responsibility for their lives. These may be friends, associates, co-workers, or even a life coach can who can offer a fresh perspective. They should be people who, rather than focusing with you on the justifications for blaming, challenge you to move forward in a powerful way. If you’re thinking that there aren’t enough people in your life who fit the bill, this is another great opportunity to take responsibility. Go ahead and start building, or rebuilding, your support system now.
3. Grasp the possibilities. Consider what a given circumstance will look like if you release blame and take total responsibility. What could you make happen that you’re unable to accomplish while stuck blaming what and who is right or wrong, good or bad? Could you create a new and improved situation? At the very least, could you change the way you feel—possibly from a powerless, victim mentality to one of empowerment? It won’t take long to realize that boundless opportunities knock on your door when you consciously own the opportunity to create your reality. Give yourself as much time as possible to develop a list of these opportunities that you can look forward to.
4. Value accountability. Moving away from blame is difficult when you see taking responsibility in a less than positive light. It’s important to realize that taking responsibility doesn’t mean shifting blame from others to yourself. It means taking YOUR next, best step. It means accepting your personal power, owning the experience and recognizing the potential of the moment. Try to find excitement here. There is truly nothing to fear except your own greatness—and why oh why would you fear that.
5. Know why blame is a waste of time. Sometimes there is a great deal of resistance to taking total responsibility. After all, blame may be 100% justifiable. However, writing a list of the reasons that blame is a waste of time may be just what it takes to jolt you into a more empowering reality. This is a great tool for increasing self-awareness and releasing any underlying commitments that you may have to holding on to blame.
6. Commit to what’s next. Instead of worrying about whats been done, how horrible it was, whose fault it was, the residue left behind, and how you feel about it; get clear on and committed to what’s next. This commitment is one surefire way to get yourself unstuck. Just ask yourself, “Where do I go from here?” You can’t focus on making the best of something while simultaneously focusing on blame, so clarifying what’s next IS a marvelous way to bring yourself toward consciously taking responsibility.
7. Consider the model you want to set for your children or grandchildren. Most of us see the value in teaching a child to take responsibility rather than relying on excuses like, “the teacher doesn’t like me” or “the dog ate my homework” or “he did it first.” You don’t want them using blame as a crutch throughout life. Right? Well there’s no better way to get the point across than to be a model of exactly what you hope to instill in them. Show young people how YOU move forward despite sometimes missing deadlines, feeling crappy, dealing with difficult people, or getting a bad review at work. Your loved ones, particularly the young and impressionable, are always watching and (often) taking cues from you. Use that as an extra bit of motivation for taking responsibility in your life.
8. Forgive yourself. For many of us, the most difficult blaming tendency to overcome is self-blame. I can’t think of a better way to deal with this than through radical forgiveness. No matter how much you think you are to blame or how horrible the results of your actions or inaction, realize that blame never changes anything for the better. With that, let it go. Choose to love and forgive yourself, focusing again on what’s next rather than what was. Take a few moments to consider how you may change your life, and the world even, by simply being more patient and loving with yourself. Notice how this changes your vibration and know that this more loving vibration spills over onto others. For that, celebrate yourself and let go of any additional blame you’ve been holding onto. Even if you’re letting go bit by tiny bit, just continue to let go.

Photo credit: Kedar Lagraa

Nea Justice

Nea is a Transformational Life Coach with a passion for helping people like you to live the life of their dreams.

If you’re truly ready to change your life and you want to know how Nea can help you overcome what stands in your way, contact her now or click the link below to learn more about life coaching.
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Tagged as: Blame, Empowerment, Responsibility