Have you ever made a change that you knew would bring extreme satisfaction and joy into your life, only to find yourself hugely disappointed?
Maybe, in the pursuit of happiness or fulfillment, you bought a new home, divorced your nagging wife, quit the job you hated, or chose a new best friend. You did what you thought had to be done, but you didn’t get what you thought you would get. The magic you expected to come along with the change either didn’t show up or it didn’t last.
The story is anything but unique, my friends. It happens to the best of us! But why? Change is what makes the world go ‘round? Right? Right! Well, sometimes right.
Just like all action is not right action, all change is not right change. When we make major life changes, it is usually motivated by a desire for some form of prosperity—be it emotional, physical, financial or otherwise. So, it’s important to take a deeper look at what we bring to the circumstances in life that we wish to change.
Making the Best or Worst of Change
Do you realize that in every single situation, relationship, problem and circumstance that you face, you never ever show up empty-handed? You always bring something very powerful that influences the outcome you receive. You bring what I call your “game changers.” They are parts of you that add change on top of change, oftentimes without your conscious intention or awareness.
They can turn a bad situation into an amazing one, or bring out the worst where there is amazing potential. Alternatively, they may do nothing more than leave matters to chance—or allow a wounding circumstance to fester, thereby bringing about a type of paralysis that keeps you stuck as the passive observer of the life you were born to live and expand. As you can see, even THAT is something.
Action is something. Inaction is something. Fear, hopelessness, anger, revenge…all something. Compassion, hope, patience, respect…all something. Even complacency, which is good for nothing, is something.
You can change your location, surroundings, friends, bosses, religion, spouse and pretty much anything else. Nonetheless, these changes may prove fruitless if you’re unaware of what you’re bringing along from point A to point B. Without that deeper level of awareness, we simply end up running from our problems, making one surface change after another and never getting to that “happy place”.
If you’ve ever run from a situation, you’ve seen this theory in action; but I’ll provide an example to add even more clarity:
Running From Problems vs. Making Powerful Changes
You hate the way you’re overworked or overlooked in the workplace. It pisses you off to no end. You walk around angry with the boss, the co-workers, and the whole system that landed you in this Godforsaken job in the first place. Eventually, you muster up the courage to turn in your resignation letter only to have a strangely similar situation pop up at the next job or in some other area of your life. You find yourself feeling the same way—angry, frustrated, unsatisfied, bored, or some other feeling that you just can’t stand. But this time it’s a new boss, or your mate, or a friend who is the culprit. So you change relationships…again. Or you get yet another job. What happens next? Surprise…the story repeats itself.
Now, what’s really happening? Why can’t you escape the madness? Why do you keep running into the same crap over and over again? It’s pretty obvious when you think about it.
Whenever we see a pattern like the one in the example above, it’s almost always because we’ve shown up in a brand new situation with the same “something” that we brought to the situation before that one, and the one before that one, and even the one before that one. Change happened, but the root of the problem remained attached.
The Culprit of All Culprits
We can all run from other people and circumstances, but we cannot leave ourselves behind. We have to stand in our personal truth and work through our “stuff” before any truly powerful, productive, fulfilling, lasting change manifests in our lives.
What happens when we refuse to work from the inside out is pretty darn ugly: We keep running, and running and running—and ending up in places that strangely mimic the essence of square one.
How pointless is it to run back and forth in every direction, trying to escape the big bad wolf while blissfully unaware that he’s tagging along in your backpack?
That backpack, of course, is your very own heart and mind. Is something there that you want to release? Notice what is there that benefits you versus what no longer serves you. Notice your attitudes and perspectives, the actions you take or don’t take, the self-talk that goes on in your head, the ways you judge yourself and others.
Notice your doubts and fears, empowering or limiting beliefs, your strengths and weaknesses, the way you communicate, your skills and talents. Notice the baggage—is it heavy? Can you lighten the load? Are your game-changers working for you or against you?
Getting What You Want Out of Life
It is unbelievably frustrating when we’re not getting what we want out of life. I’m sure nobody will disagree with me on that. But none of us are powerless against this.
You are an empowered being who allows and creates. YOU always make a difference. If you’re not getting what you want out of life, you can guarantee that the main culprit is what you’re showing up with. Accepting this and choosing responsibility over blame is absolutely necessary if you want to move beyond the surface changes and start changing the quality of the results you’re getting.
Are you ready?
One way or another, what you bring to a situation—and to life in general—will make a contribution. But will it be a contribution that speaks the truth of your potential? The choice is yours. Make it consciously.
Nea is a Life Transformation Coach who believes happiness should never be optional.
If you’re ready to live a happier, more fulfilling life and you want to know how Nea can help you overcome what stands in your way, contact her now or click the link here to learn more about life coaching
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Hi, I'm Nea. As a 
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